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Post by Inara Serra on Mar 26, 2007 23:26:15 GMT -5
Inara entered her shuttle and immediately tossed her shawl onto the bed, glad to be rid of it. It felt like it was confining her, and that was something she didn't need at the moment. She always felt confined whenever she and Mal hd a discussion. It wasn't a frequent occurence, but it always made her just want to scream.
With a loud sigh she sat down on the couch, playing idly with a strand of her hair as she heard his footsteps on the walkway outside.
Whatever happened, she hoped this wouldn't be too painful.
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Post by Malcolm Reynolds on Sept 18, 2007 15:10:20 GMT -5
He stepped inside, pushing the beaded curtain out of his way as he walked, his head down his entire approach. He wasn't sure just what he was going to say. He wasn't used to Inara just running off from him...what he was used to was a slap across the face accompanied with several choice curse words.
He finally glanced up, his hands moving behind his back, cupping together. He didn't wany anymore arguements with her...they were growing tired.
He stared at her, feeling it was best if she spoke first for once.
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Post by Inara Serra on Sept 18, 2007 21:04:43 GMT -5
Inara looked up expectantly when Mal came into her shuttle. She half expected him to be raging, calling her all sorts of names, especially his favourite choice one; "whore".
But none of that happened. He looked ashamed with himself, something she had never seen before, so she had to look him over a second time before it actually registered in her mind.
It both surprised and touched her that he was letting her speak first for once.
She sighed and looked up at him, her eyes hard. "I'd like to know one thing," she began. "Why exactly did you pick that fight with me this afternoon? Things were going well before we saw Atherton, and as was apparent, or so I thought, I made an effort to make sure that he didn't see me. I'm well aware of the history we all have with each other."
She was going over the scene in her mind, and felt her throat tightening again.
Inara knew she was going to have to try hard not to cry in front of him.
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Post by Malcolm Reynolds on Sept 18, 2007 22:33:48 GMT -5
He took in a deep breath, his hands moving from behind his back to infront of his chest, folding immediatly. He wasn't sure how to respond to her question, even though he knew the answer.
If he was honest with her, it was because he was jealous. He was jealous each and every time they took port on a planet and she was off to meet a client. The thought of her and another man, it off settled him, it made him irritable and that was probably why they always had the constant bickering back and forth. He had to be critical...or he'd go insane with thinking about the entire scenerio.
He sighed. "Isn't it obvious, 'Nara?"
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Post by Inara Serra on Sept 18, 2007 22:51:07 GMT -5
"It should be, but it isn't. Like I said earlier, I just wish you'd be honest with me for once." She brushed a strand of hair out of her face, disguising the fact that she was actually wiping away an errant tear.
She looked up at him and added, "It might help if we were both honest with each other from now on. All this secrecy, whether real or imagined, is going to eventually take its toll on us, if it hasn't already begun to."
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Post by Malcolm Reynolds on Sept 18, 2007 23:06:55 GMT -5
"It might be wise...but it is difficult." He sighed once again, then looked up to her. If he just said it...it would be out and in the open.
"Seein'...any of your clients, Nar, just...bothers me. It shouldn't, but for a very long time, it has"
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Post by Inara Serra on Sept 23, 2007 19:07:44 GMT -5
"That takes us back to the issue at hand. Of why it is so hard for you to be honest with anyone. It's like I said, everyone is afraid of getting hurt. We all feel it, but we don't let it stop us from getting close to other people."
Almost as soon as she had said it, he came back at her with the comment about her clients. "I didn't realise it had...bothered you for so long." She looked up at him and said, "How could I, Mal?"
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Post by Malcolm Reynolds on Sept 24, 2007 22:53:18 GMT -5
"You wasn't supposed to know 'Nara. It wasn't supposed to happen." He took in a deep breath.
"I did my best to ignore it because I had no reason to feel that way." He glanced to her. "It isn't that I don't want to be honest with you, 'Nara. Just...back on Shadow...it wasn't the way we behaved. We didn't speak about feelin's and that like. We kept it inside."
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Post by Inara Serra on Sept 29, 2007 21:31:36 GMT -5
"It wasn't supposed to happen to me either, Mal," she said, admitting to him something she couldn't even admit to herself for the first two months on the ship. The full implications of her feelings didn't even hit her until the racing of her heart almost overwhelmed her during the almost-takeover of their ship by Reavers after Simon and River first came on. At that time, she had suspected something was going on with Mal, just in the way he had said her name, but she didn't want to get her hopes up, just in case she was wrong.
And now she saw how wrong she'd been about her thoughts at that time. "It probably would have been easier for us to just...admit it to each other...but...we both seem to be too prideful for anything like that."
"And I of all people know how dangerous it is or could be to have feelings like this, and to even talk about them is worse, but..."
She looked up at him, looking at him straight in the eye. "Tell me what you want, Mal. And I'll do it."
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Post by Malcolm Reynolds on Sept 8, 2008 22:13:40 GMT -5
"I don't think it's my place to ask what I want, 'Nara." He took in a breath, as his eyes shifted back to her. He fidgeted a bit, before taking a step forward. "Because what I want is simply going to drag us into an entire other world of hurt." He knew this was true. They'd have moments together, where it was nothing but pure happiness, but in reality, it would just make the situation even worse. He'd get jealous, she'd get angry, they'd be back to square one.
He watched her, waiting for her reaction.
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Post by Inara Serra on Sept 8, 2008 22:19:14 GMT -5
"How?" she asked, knowing the pleading in her voice was very apparent. "What I do...my job...I don't...I don't have to keep doing it," she said, biting her lip a bit. She knew if they did ever get together, she would most certainly give up her work. It would feel horrible continuing it while she was with him, as well as the fact that she knew he would not want to be with her at all if she continued it.
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Post by Malcolm Reynolds on Sept 8, 2008 22:25:31 GMT -5
"That's...not fair of me to ask of you." He frowned though, when he heard her voice shake. He wanted to ignore his reason entirely, to pull her against him, like he had wanted to do for so many months. He took in a breath. "But lord knows I want too."
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Post by Inara Serra on Sept 8, 2008 22:32:56 GMT -5
She stood up and stepped over to him. "If I was with someone...if I was with you...I would quit what I'm doing. I made that up in my mind a long time ago, when I first started."
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Post by Malcolm Reynolds on Sept 8, 2008 22:54:32 GMT -5
He stared at her for a long time, not saying a word. He was so close to her now,even though he didn't remember taking a step forward. His hand reached out, taking hold of hers, as gently as he could manage. The he flashed her the smallest hint of a grin, before his other hand reached out to stroke her chin gently.
"Are you sure? I'm not going to make you do somethin' that you don't wan'na do, Nara."
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Post by Inara Serra on Sept 8, 2008 22:58:20 GMT -5
Her breathing quickened when he touched her, when he looked at her with that smile that she loved. Could she do what she was saying? She'd never been tested like this before; giving up her profession for someone she loved...could she?
One look into his eyes, his beautiful grey eyes told her, unequivocally, yes. Yes. She could, and she would. "More sure than I have been of anything in my whole life, Mal."
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